Have you ever felt your feedback may be too harsh and, due to this feeling, decided not to share it? Well, we have probably all been taught the old maxim: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, be quiet.” A pity, because feedback is learning, and remaining quiet when actionable feedback should be given, is a missed learning opportunity. Actually: missed for no reason.
Kim Scott, in her book Radical Candor, shares her many-years experience as senior level manager and business owner. With her teams, she was building specific feedback culture based on two pillars: caring personally and challenging directly. She stresses the need to give feedback whenever needed, regularly, always when we feel it will bring benefits to the individual and to the team. She calls the method Radical Candor.
The “right” feedback, radical candor, is actually direct communication style. You attack a problem, so no feedback is seen as personal attack. The ideas and results are observed and discussed honestly and critically by all members of the team. The culture of openness is built continuously; if something needs to be said, people are expected to say it. The team who care personally and challenge directly, do not hesitate to question ideas that do not make sense. All team members become committed to maintaining high standards.
Kim Scott describes a graph with four quadrants, to help you understand how to install Radical Candor on your team. It is achieved, by merging two variables: caring personally on the Y vertical axis and Challenging Directly on the X horizontal axis.
A person who is too nice and avoids sharing feedback, afraid of their own embarrassment represents Ruinous Empathy. Positive change will not happen.
Someone who lies for personal gain, mistrusts and sabotages to take over, represents Manipulative Insincerity.
Personalized attacks and targeting others’ weak points cause that fear and resentment grow. Shouting, laughing at team members’ expense, ruin team spirit.
Well, next time you think you would rather be quiet with feedback, as it is rather critical, think about Radical Candor. While being direct and personally caring, you and your teammates can feel free enough to pour all their selves into their jobs. Let you all learn!